• SANTA MOVES TO ENGLAND

    This is the story of the greatest hero in the history of Christmas, Santa Claus, and his very unfunny demise.

    Santa Moves to England

    Santa Moves to England

    £0.15
    Your purchase is for an eBook version (ePub, Mobi, PDF) of Santa Moves to England meant for reading on smartphones and tablets. Paperback coming soon.

    Age range: 10-17.
    Word length: 7,000.
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  • COMING SOON

    When, due to global warming, Santa's North Pole home melted into the ocean, he and Rudolph needed to find a new place to live. Santa chose England.

    Animal Welfare Act 2006

    However, when Santa and Rudolph arrived in England, Rudolph was confiscated under the Animal Welfare Act 2006 and Santa ended up unemployed and living alone in a council tower-block, and for the first time in the history of the world, Christmas didn’t happen.

     

    Santa Moves to England is Raymond Briggs' classic 'The Snowman' for the Snapchat generation.

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    The story goes something like this...

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    Even though he is inexplicably oblivious to it, Santa's home is definitely melting into the sea; it's obvious to everyone but him.

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    It was only when that all he had left was a bed to float on, that he knew he had to act. It was time to move.

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    For reasons Santa kept to himself, England was the destination.

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    Once there, after landing and spending a night in a muddy field, Santa is assumed to be homeless, and thus, Rudolph is taken into care.

    Santa can only have Rudolph back when he finds a place to live.

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    NO PETS POLICY!

    Sadly, despite being housed in council accommodation, the building's no-pets policy renders Santa unable to reclaim Rudolph. He is therefore advised to get his own place with enough room for a reindeer. And to do that, he needs a job.

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    Which he gets, being highly qualified apropos deliveries as he is, as a postman.

    However, old delivery habits cause the unprepared to think they're being burgled. So Santa gets the sack.

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    Jobless and desperate to find Rudolph, Santa pasted MISSING posters all around town.

    But, because he is the worst drawer in Western Europe, it resulted in nothing more than nugatory people knocking at his door trying to claim their dog and mother-in-law as Rudolph, clutching for the reward money.

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    With no Rudolph, there was no Christmas, which resulted in a LOT of hate mail.

    Which, curiously enough, lead to Santa finding Rudolph's location.

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    Oh, deer...

    When Santa finally found Rudolph, years of life in England had made him fat. Too fat to fly, in fact.

     

    END OF PREVIEW

  • Rich Stonehouse

    If, for whatever reason, you want to know more about me and poke your nose into my proverbial and/or literal business, poke away...

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    If you have any questions, good or bad, queries or feedback regarding the book or anything else, please get in touch. Thanks, Rich

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